对不起 妈妈

昨天和我妈大吵了一架
我很难过
我感觉得到他不爱我
感觉得到他很讨厌我
她甚至想赶我出家门

拉拉扯扯中
我哭了
心也都好痛

为什么我做的你都不喜欢？
为什么你一直认为我偏袒爸爸
就算错 他还是我的爸爸
不是么？

一定要那么狠骂？
一定要搞到不认他做爸爸的那种地步？

我妈腰酸背痛
他叫我帮他揉揉
当时我在看戏
心不在焉的
就随便按按
他说不够大力
好啊～就大力点
我妹竟然说我想杀了他

这句话
我很心痛
很生气
『杀』这字
多严重
我就跑上楼了……

接着 想说玩玩电脑消消气
怎知我妈要我立刻去折衣服
我就说等下……
他就把电脑关掉
天哪～
我就很生气啊……
我不是不做
就等下吗！

可恶～
言语的冲突
顶来顶去
心中的火燃烧了起来……

就这样大开杀戒……

我承认
我说的话 是很重
我知道我伤了妈妈
可是
被冤枉的时候
真的很难忍的

一个人反锁在房间里
哭得死去活来
从抽屉里 拿出了刀片
呵……
对啊～想不开
可是最后，都还是收回去了

有想过离开
可是就办不到
只是假假的收拾衣物
搬到我姐的房间
哈……

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
一整个夜晚
都很难睡
因为念床……
哈～就东走走西碰碰的
想了很多……

或许我该上去道歉的？
或许我明天要跟他们冷战
不要跟他们讲话
不知不觉睡了吧……

###############################
直到
刚刚 妈妈削芒果给我
然后突然走过来亲我……==
有吓到

有点懊悔
我昨天的所作所为
昨天的想法

妈妈，对不起

我知道你的脾气
虽然难顶
可是这就是你的方式
我应该体谅你的
恩……

不管怎样

我知道你是爱我的

我的幼稚

我的不成熟

谢谢你的包容

我会努力努力不让你再度失望

有我这样的一个女儿

哈哈～

很气人吧？

对不起～……

我永远爱你……

never lets the fears striking you out

lame..
lame..
lame..

dc again..
make me cant update my blog for so long..><
haha..
i got the new layout here..
so..
all links gone..
who i never link..
pls tell me in the chat box..^^
thx...^^
i will relink

++++++++++++++++++++++
back to thursday..
drumstick n her gf..
so sweet(for now)
haha..
gambateh ba..
1st month is very important for new couple..
lets wish for thm for 3...seconds..
1
2
3
..*
haa..
*gt some secret pics about thm..
bt thy have to approve
only can post up..
haha..
copyright the ma...

##################################

nx,
kylie..
my babe..
dun feel wronged for urselves
u dun have to do this..
many things..
changed without reason..
if he dunwan appreciate u..
nvm..
let him go..
no worth to continue again..
the love between u both..
becomes so meaningless..
u knew
u felt.

i noe wat u wan..
and wat is in ur mind..
i understand..
u the one shudnt feel sorry to..
k?

im always here babe..
forever for you..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
oh yea...
many things happened..
and those stuffs were ruining my mind..
drive me to insane,,
you noe wat i did?!!!


Umm..
hu~

i hinted someone tat i falling for him..!!
and my ending is..

i failed..

haha..

i noe who is he loving now..
and..
i will never ever replace the girl..
even how close are we..
yea
i understand..
haha..

i just want to let him noe..
if he rejected by the girl..
im here waiting for him....
haha..
crazy mind huh?
u wont believe tat i will be waiting him for too long..
mayb in that time,i will be in a relationship with someone..
but..
i think..
i will reserve a place for him..
in my heart..
haha...
mayb..
cuz..
i never try to wait someone..
...
just MAYBE..
i think im not tat "PRO" to having 2 lover in one heart..
so..
mayb i will make a decision whn i meet mine MR.X
hahaa...

so ,
before tat..
i will keep waiting for him..
just like how he waiting for the girl.

(im dreaming..and speaking dreams' words..)
bla bla bla...

ignore it

*************************************************
i failed my love and also my ACADEMICs..
fine..
PN lee ask me to prepare..
tat im gonna drop class to 5sc2..
2nd class la..
haha

im glad..
because..in 1st class..
many gossips..
*tat BITCH AxRexn..
is ad enuf !..
damm..
she is the most PRO BITCH in this world..
who she thinks she is?!...
with her mother's power?
thn she can gt anything so wan?!!..
><.. hate..HER!!.. nvm.. my results so sux.. i deserve it.. but.. i will never give up!!.. i promised myself.. work harder and harder..

never let those ppl look down to me anymore..

i will let you to meet a NEW XIA SHI..

next year!^^

****************************
lastly..happy birthday to EVON!!

2012

2012..
doomsday
isit exist?
or just a story..

i think..
it is real..
just..maybe not 2012?

went to cinema today..
watched 2012
omg..
a great movie..
haha..
make me nervous..
i hold my breath several times whn i was watching it..
sososo nervous..
yeah~...

many part of the movie..
make me sad..and realization
human are selfish whn thy face problems..
thy just want to protect thmselves or thr beloved..
wat about others?
no others "strangers" in thr mind..
thy will never want to give a chance to others to survive!!..
thy took thr chance away..and act as it is a right decision?!
F**K

i cried whn the part father talked to his son..
FOR THE LAST TIME.
gosh..
so sad nia..
another father who cant forgive his son just because his son married with a tokyo women.
he cant accept tat his daughter-in-law is different religion with him
but,whn he knew tat the earth gonna {REBORN}..
he called his son..
but it's TOO LATE..
there was an earthquake happen in his son's area..
POOF*
everythings are too late..
he never ever hear his son's voice again.......

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
appreciate the movie makers..
really..
create such a great movie..
n very meaningful..
my heart up and down followed by the movie..
i never wanted to miss a single part of the show.!!
*even toilet i oso never go as i really need it..ha!*

so..
we must appreciate everythings..!
dun let REGRET occur in ur life!
take the chance..
and just DO IT!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
EXTRAS..after movie
at 1utama ^^
macha ice cream.RM15..0.0but nice^^
wu~0.0..[sexy body]who?secret,,,^^

wear mask..=-=cuz gt pimples...>~<[shit]

i love friends^^

ohya~..
lol..
why my internet here so sux!!??

damn it..

just yamcha-ed with babe wei's gang..
(qin,melinda,heng,bakchoi..)
hha
so funny..

we talked for a lot of things...
wee..^^
nice//

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
why am i still on9-ing?
ad midnight le..
wat to do?
afternoon no9..
and my internet siao siao de..
suddenly can ply war..

of cuz mz appreciate this chance la...!!


today...
think of sumone..
feel abit sad nia..
i feel tat our gang ad seperated..
into very small pieces...
very very small..

will we still remember each others after graduate?
wish the answer will be YES//

thn..
three of us(paul,me,mywife)
walking n talking alot..
haha..
we not really want to go home so fast..

we sat under the tree beside the road..
haha..
each car passed by sure look at us..
FUIYOH@..
wat a weird sight..=-=

haha..
so funny..
haha...i took it!!nice nerh?!..this is the place we "lepak"



solou paul.>~<


**************************************

+gambateh to all SPM's students,..
wish you all good luck!!!...^^

*i have to say to myself too!!..
cuz i got the most sux marks!!!..
bla bla bla....

LAME RESULTT?//

Never update for so long time nia...
haiz..
stupid wire....=-=

i think i better go {CUT}..
haha..
just like the ppl in the advertise..
[POTONG....POTONG..potong...]
haha..

i think today is my lucky day?
cuz..
can on9 and post up this post..
and watch TWILIGHT..


ya..
i never watch yet..
until now..
im watching..
duno why..
just addicted with it..
keep chasing the stories...

but..
the books are quiet expensive..
not quiet..
is VERY..
chinese version's price is the normal version's DOUBLE..
wat the.......
=-=
the first book..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
my luck just occur after school...
yea..
of course..
finish exam..
everyone happy..
including me..
sure im happy..
but..

whn i saw my result..
PUFF*
sweet dreams gone..
i just so disappointed on myself..!!!
wat the SUX results i GOT?!!

i think i know the answer..!!
but the reality told me NO!!..
shit..
so damn angry with myself!!!!!!
including my math paper..
the subjek i most confident..=-=
also...........

haiz...
i got the lowest..
emo-ed for so long..

wat can i say?
im asking myself..
did i pay 100% hard on it?
did i really understand wat i studied?
Am i not intelligent enough?.
many questions marks on my head!!..

nvm..
i think i better work hard..
i really dont wish my SPM's results..
to be like this..BULLSHIT...!!><